Day Seven

“One’s compassion for others is feeble until one has mastered compassion through the discipline of harmonizing one’s body, speech and mind.”

It has become apparent to me that my project is having an effect on other people, as well as myself. How do I know? If the events of today had happened two weeks ago, they would have been handled in a very different manner. I had someone from my past contact me today because he wants to talk. Two weeks ago I would have told him to piss off and leave me alone, but as I am trying to be more compassionate when it comes to the suffering of others, I will be contacting him tomorrow.

So, onto today’s lesson; well, I’m working on it. I have had a sharp tongue for well over a decade, and I am a little jaded from several events which have transpired over the course of my adult life. With that in mind, I’m sure my loyal readers can understand that it is difficult to keep the first words out of my mouth from being snarky and sarcastic, but I am working on it.

To answer a concern addressed a couple days ago; I am not trying to make myself perfect. I have no desire to be the type of person who make everyone else look bad by being so absolutely wonderful all the time. What I am trying to do is become the person I have always wanted to be. I want to be someone who takes time out of my day to help others (whether by helping to change a flat tire or buying someone food who doesn’t have any, or helping a friend with a project that can change her life for the better). I want to be that person, and it is going to take a lot of work for me to get there, but I am willing to put in the necessary hours.

I would write more about my journey tonight, but I have a friend who is about to hit a rough patch and I will be sending him all of the loving energy I can spare to help him get through as smoothly as possible. Goodnight, all.

Day Six

“To extend loving kindness and compassion without condition is the definitive action of benevolence.”

                Today was a crash day. That’s what I call it when all of the negative emotions I have been suppressing come crashing through my barriers and overwhelm me all at once. I woke up far earlier than I should have, completely convinced that I was the most hated human on the planet. Of course, I know this isn’t true and after a few hours of tears and reflection I was able to convince myself of this.

                I was not alone in my endeavor. I had a few dear friends share some encouraging thoughts and words, and even though I was still crying, it was good to know that I was am loved and that I have good friends who are there for me when I need them. To my, these friends embody today’s lesson. One friend in particular – yes, I know you’re reading this and you know exactly who you are – has shown such kindness and compassion that nothing I do will ever be enough to thank her. Yet she expects nothing in return (aside from my friendship, which I willingly give).

                Unconditional love is a funny thing. I have loved unconditionally before; recently, in fact. Do you know what I got from giving this unconditional love? Five years of lies, deceit, and being used. I believe that extending love, kindness, and compassion is a wonderful thing, and people who are able to do so have an amazing gift. However, it has been pointed out to me that while it is important to show others love and compassion, it is equally important to show yourself some as well.

                This confused me a bit at first, but then as I thought on it, it really set in. If I were to use all of my energy in one single day being kind to others and being completely selfless, I’m sure people would think I was a great person. But if I did that, I would have no energy left for myself and could end up very sick (I have had it happen on several occasions). From personal experience, the average cold will last 2-3 days. So if I give my all to others for one day, I will have to be selfish for 2-3 in order to recover, but if I save a little love and kindness for myself (translation – if I take care of others AND take care of myself), I will be giving a little less each day, but I will be able to share more of the love that I have to give because I will not be spending so much of my time trying to recover.

                What I gleaned from today’s lesson is this: showing compassion and kindness to others, without expecting payment for your deeds, is one of the most noble things you can do for others and yourself.

Day Five

“True compassion comes about as the result of the awakening of our true nature that is accompanied by the lucidity of pure consciousness and the direct experiences of emptiness as the nature of reality.”

                To be honest, I haven’t really had time today to do anything other than shop and wrap presents. It is only now, as I am getting ready to go to bed, that I have even had time to look at today’s lesson. But since I have committed myself to this project, I refuse to let one day pass that I do not take at least a little time to contemplate the daily lesson, and write about my thoughts and experiences.

                I have never been a big fan of reality. Reality is cold and harsh and filled with unhappiness and sorrow. The good thing about reality is that it only takes a slight shift to bring a little light into someone’s world. When it comes to showing compassion, I have always favored the innocent as more deserving; not that I believe adults should be allowed to suffer, just that I believed children to be more in need of the compassion. With that train of thought in mind, my friend and I picked a child from a local angel tree to buy gifts for this year. It wasn’t much, some clothes and a few toys, but it makes us smile knowing that that one little girl will have a happier Christmas morning because we were able to donate a little thought, a little time, and a little money.

                As a generalization, most people feel more willing to give and show compassion during the holidays. Almost everyone I know is willing to donate food, blankets, warm clothes, toys, and many other things. But what of the rest of the year? There are people who suffer and are sad every day of the year. Most of us, though, would rather not think about such things all year long. The people who are truly compassionate, however, coordinate food donations and help out is so many other ways all year long.

                If I am to become a truly compassionate person, I need to open my eyes to the world around me; to see the bad along with the good, and I need to care enough to do something about it. If one in twenty people were to wake up tomorrow and decide that they want to make a positive difference in the world, we could start a powerful movement of caring, compassion, and peace. Maybe it won’t happen today, but I for one would be happy to see it happen sometime during my lifetime.

Day Four

“Love is the motive, the will, and the power source that propels every single human desire into fruition. So be mindful to maintain pure intent in all things we undertake.”

                When I told a friend today about this project, he told me he was worried about me and made me promise not to overextend myself. With the holidays so close, work has slowed down, I just finished finals for my classes, and all of the groups I belong to are taking a break until at least a week after the New Year; I didn’t understand where he thought I would be overextending anything. He explained that self-improvement is a big project, bigger than most realize. I love my friends, but this one in particular, he is my best friend.

                Family and friends are very important to me. I was lucky enough to be raised by wonderful parents, and be part of a loving and supportive family. Because of that, I sometimes forget that not everyone has been so fortunate. Not everyone is from a loving family, and not everyone can count on their friends for help when things get rough. It is not only me who is able to rely on my family and friends; they can rely on me as well. I can’t always help as much as I would like to, but I help in any way I can.

                What motivates me to help these people (and them me)? Love. Love is the driving force behind my actions when it comes to my family and friends. It is one of the most powerful forces in the world, and yet it is also one of the most fragile (as well as the one most taken for granted). Most people I know love their family and friends; not all, but most. We are all pre-programed to love those who are closest to us. But what of those we do not know? Those people we see every day, but do not know. So many of us just ignore these people and go on with our day. I see many people every day who are suffering. I can see it in their eyes, their posture, and their movements.

                While I was out today running errands, I did an experiment. As I walked through the grocery store or the Post Office, I smiled; such a simple thing to do. I smiled at the clerks who helped me and every person I passed. Almost everyone smiled back. Why did I do this? Because this morning I realized that I wanted to do something nice for everyone I saw today. For once there was no ulterior motive, I just wanted to brighten someone’s day, I while not all of the smiles were genuine, I could tell that at least a few people were glad to see a smiling face.

                In today’s lesson and reflection, I learned that love, kindness, and happiness are infectious, and that doing kindness for others is also doing kindness for me. I didn’t get anything monetarily from my smile experiment, but every smile that was returned warmed my heart, as I’m sure my smile warmed the hearts of others.

Day Three

“The only reality that matters in the timelessness of being is the measure of pure love and compassion we confer upon the caring for other entities, without the attachment of the self-centered agenda.” 

                Today my patience was tried and tested as much as humanly possible. As a Thursday, it was Girl Scout night for my daughter’s troop, and I am a leader, which can be very stressful. As the girls were working on tonight’s craft, one of them sat down and told me that I seemed nicer than usual. I told her all about my 108 Days project. “That sounds like a good idea,” she told me. “I think everyone should try to be a better person, then the world would be happier.” It really is amazing how much we can learn from children.

                Today’s lesson struck a nerve with me. In recent years (and not-so-recent years, to be quite honest), I have not been doing much of anything unless for selfish reasons. I do very little community service, and I donate even less money to causes than I do time. After reflecting on today’s lesson, it is no wonder my life has seemed a little less than full. Every day I look around me and see suffering, as I’m sure we all do. Today, however, I realized that the time has come for me to help end that suffering.

                As much as I would like to, I know I cannot save the world by myself, but I can make a difference. Let’s face it, no one likes to see or hear about the suffering of others. No one wants to hear about hate and betrayal and all of the negative things that happen in our world every day. What we really want is to hear about people making a difference.

                If that is the kind of news I want to see on TV or read about in the papers, then I am going to have to stop being lazy about life. There is so much more to life than just living for me. By showing love and compassion to others, in whatever form it may take, life takes on true meaning. I have heard other people say things like this before, but being told that it’s what I should do and knowing it in my heart are two different things. Today I know in my heart that my life is supposed to be more than just for me, and that my selfish nature has been dragging me down for years. The time has come for that to change, and the change feels good, and the essence of my very being feels lighter for it.

Day Two

“Action that arises from the motivation of awakening mind can always be counted upon to deliver the right kind of fruition.”

                I felt part of yesterday’s resolve slipping during today’s morning traffic. Luckily, as the day continued I could feel the peace creeping back into the center of my being. After a rather full work day, I came home to an evening of chores and helping with homework. However, I was able to take a short amount of time to myself for today’s lesson. 

                I recently experienced an awakening; not of my mind, but of my heart. It is a strange thing, feeling something so powerful one day, only to wake up the next and realize it was all a lie. No matter how much I may have wanted to close my eyes and keep believing the lie (and I did try), I knew that I would never believe it again.

                An awakening of the mind is very similar. It is when you realize that there is more to life than you. If you have not yet been awakened in this way, then you are (in my opinion) missing out. As with my compassion, I am on the path to awakening. My eyes are slowly opening to the truth that is all around me. As much as I want it to sometimes, the world does not revolve around me; there are many others that I must share it with, and though some may have it better, there are those who have it worse.

                With this in mind, I come to the conclusion of today’s lesson. The acts of someone who is awakening (or has already done so) are for the good of others, and not for selfish reasons. Because of this, the outcome will be beneficial to many instead of just to one.

Day One

“Compassion is not an expression of ordinary love tainted by the attachment to emotion. It is the energy of loving kindness that comes about as one’s mind awakens to the recognition that life we deemed as normal is impermanent and the lack of our recognition of its true nature is the cause of suffering.” 

                We all see people suffering every day. Many of us are willing to help a family member or a friend, but how many of us would go out of our way to help a stranger? How many see someone who is homeless or hungry and stop to help that person? The answer is both simple and unfortunate: not enough. 

                Compassion. We hear the word so often in life, yet many of us are unsure of what it really is. Compassion is showing love and kindness to others. No emotional connection is needed to show compassion, but there must be love in your heart. It is not limited to human beings; we can be compassionate towards animals as well and, in my opinion, the Earth.

                Around the world, compassion is seen as one of the greatest virtues; it is a virtue that I have been lacking for a long time. After reflecting on this the first lesson, I know that I need to take steps to refresh and renew the compassion which has been dormant inside of me for years. The first step I will need to take is to reawaken my empathy. I am working with a Reiki healer to realign and balance my chakras, which is necessary to my ability to feel empathy, since there is currently a rather solid wall around my heart. 

                I feel that today’s meditation has helped me to see the folly of my ways. I have for so long been focused only on myself and, occasionally, focus on my family and friends. That changes today. I can already feel the shift in my personal energy and my way of thinking. There is more to life than the shallow existence I have been leading, and now that my eyes are open to this, I do not intend to let them close again.

108 Days of Reflection and Meditation

Yesterday I was guided to a website (www.pathgate.org). One of the many pages is titled “Gems of Wisdom for Daily Meditation”. There are a total of 108 selections of Lama Dondrup Dorje’s teachings that are used by his students for daily reflection.

Today, I will start with the first “gem” for reflection and meditation. Each day, I will write down my thoughts, feelings, and reactions to that day’s teaching. My goal at the end of the 108 days is to know myself, and make positive changes in myself, my family, and the world around me. Through this exercise, I also hope to be better equipped to help those around me, whether physically, emotionally, or spiritually.

My Own Way

Since I have never been part of a coven, and I've never had a teacher, my only real guide is myself and whatever books I can get my hands on. This has its good and bad points. Since I have no teacher, I can just figure out whatever feels right and works for me, I don't have to follow the rituals and precise ways of someone else. The downside to it is that I have no one to teach me; there is no one to help me through my rituals and spells and no one to correct me if I'm doing something wrong.

This solitary methodology has led me to an interesting world of spiritual exploration. While I am certain there is a God and Goddess that help with whatever I may need, I can also feel different energies around me that are associated with the elements.

With this knowledge in hand, I figured out that most of the spells and energy is working with the elements, so I have adjusted the rituals to accommodate this. At first, I would light a white candle for each direction (North, East, South, West), but now that I know each is associated with a different element, I respect the differences and use a different medium for each direction (North - Earth - soil, East - Air - incense, South - Fire - candle, West - Water - holy water). I call each of the elements in turn (it is different each time, depending on how I am feeling and what I wish to accomplish) and then perform my spell or ritual.

Since making this change, I have noticed an increased success rate; not of my spells working, but working the way I wanted them to work. It is a wonderful feeling when something turns out the way it is intended.

Solo

Would have posted this sooner, but by cold has been kicking my rear end these past few days.

Wednesday evening, I performed my very first solo ritual. One of the ingredients I need for the cleansing I will be doing tomorrow is Holy Water, which is in short supply, since there are no stores in the area. Anyway, I adapted the Holy Water ritual from Silver RavenWolf's book Solitary Witch. Since it was my first solitary ritual, as well as my first ritual in nearly 5 years, I decided to have the instructions written down next to me for each step (so I wouldn't forget anything).

The feeling was absolutely amazing. I could feel the power of the Goddess and God flowing through me as I preformed the blessing. It was enough to make me cry tears of joy, and when I was finished, I was full of a confidence and energy I haven't felt in years. Truly, if you have never performed a ritual, whether alone or with others, I highly recommend it.

Unexpected Delays

I meant to post what I have done to rid myself of my "unwanted visitor," but there have been a few delays in my doing anything at all. First, I have been sick, which absolutely sucks. Second, I have a difficult time doing anything "Witchy" while my family is home, and there's almost always someone home. Third, a close friend of mine has been in crisis and I have been focused on helping him out.

Luckily for me, I have been able to do a few things, so the attacks have been much less severe. My room has two windows and one door (not including the closet). I cleansed five stones/crystals that have natural protective qualities, and I charged them with protective energy. Once that was done, I placed one stone on each end of the two windowsills, and one on centered on top of the door frame.

I've not yet completed a cleansing of the house, but I am expecting the house to myself tonight, and I should have plenty of time. If not, I will have three-ish hours on Sunday while everyone is at church.

Caught Again

It has been quite a while since I composed a blog. For several weeks, I was unsure of how to proceed, or even if I should; but I feel it is necessary to share my experiences (and mistakes) with others. So, here goes.

I have been feeling "off" lately, though I could not explain why. Several times, I would find myself thinking things that would never have come to my mind without being planted there. I took it as the fluctuating hormones of my cycle and pushed it aside. Tonight as I sat at my laptop, contemplating the vastness of existence, I began to feel "off" again. This time, instead of pushing the feeling away, I analyzed it. In doing so, I recognize its source, and I cannot say that I am very happy about it.

For those of you who read my blog Something's Missing, you will know that I have been longing for my past connections with the supernatural. I so desired to reconnect with that part of my life, that I posted it for the world to read - almost as a wish or prayer for the connection to be rekindled.

Ever heard the saying "Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it?" Well, I got it. The "off" that I have been feeling lately is an entity I encountered during my Naval training...and not a particularly friendly one, at that. I am unable to do much tonight, but tomorrow I will be banishing evil from my house and then protecting it.

I have a few spells in mind to use, but they will need to be adapted to suit my needs. Once I have done that, I will post them (just in case someone else has need of something similar). Specifically, I will be making Holy Water for the first time and using it in the protection. I'm still trying to figure out the banishing ritual/spell. It should not be too difficult to find, though.

This is only the start, however, since I do intend to leave my house, and will need to have some sort of protection to keep on my person as well.

I will let you know tomorrow or Saturday how everything goes.

Blessed Be

Book of Shadows

I started working on my Book of Shadows today. Years ago, I remember thinking a Book of Shadows (BOS) had to be a huge, leather-bound book. It had to be filled with parchment paper and I would write in it all of my spells and thoughts on magick, but it would have to be written with an old-fashioned quill pen in perfect, even handwriting. It's entirely possible that I watched too much "Sabrina: The Teenage Witch" and "Charmed" when I was younger. I have since learned that the medium doesn't matter so much as the intent. So, without further ado, here's how I set up my BOS.

Materials:
1 - 2" Black Binder
1 - Silver Sharpie
2 - Packs of Sheet Protectors
1 - Pack of Binder Paper
2 - Packs of Dividers

With the silver Sharpie, I wrote "Book of Shadows" on the front cover. Then I opened the packs of sheet protectors and put them inside the binder. I printed out the Wiccan Rede and slipped it into the first sheet protector. I have also printed out a few spells, meditations, and general guides (meanings of colors, different crystals and stones, and a few other tidbits) that will also go in. The binder paper is all the way at the back, so that if I have notes to write or if I want to write or modify a spell, I can use that and then put it in a sheet protector. For the dividers, I have written on the tabs a few different sections for easy reference (basic rituals, cleansing spells, general information, meditations, tarot readings, tools, runes...).

It really is much easier to put together than I had originally anticipated. And, of course, what I did may not work for everyone, just do what is comfortable for you and within budget. There really is no need to break the bank buying a special journal to use if you don't have the money for one. Especially at back-to-school time, when many stores are having sales on everything I used for my own BOS. What's really important in all of this is that, no matter how you do it, your BOS works for YOU.

Blessed Be,
NightDancer