Day Twenty-Three

“Following the goodness of your inner self will ultimately reward you with more lasting joys and satisfaction than any amount of compensation from external sources through mundane means.”

We’ve all heard this one before: money doesn’t buy happiness. It sure can make life a little less stressful, though. No, I’m not about to start ranting about the economy or any of that crap. I’m not here for that. The economy has nothing to do with my personal spiritual journey.

So, back to what I was saying. Money can’t buy happiness. Know what can? Following your heart and doing your best. If you don’t do those things, yet you have money, you will have an empty existence that you are constantly trying to fill with material goods which mean nothing.

Not everyone can see this simple thing. My daughter can see it. She likes material possessions just fine, but she knows that there are more important things. For example, for the last three years, she has asked Santa to make sure everyone is happy. Not just her family and friends; she wants E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E to be happy. That’s what it’s all about (that’s right, it’s not about the Hokey Pokey anymore!).

It’s a slow process to change your mind set to one which is more optimistic and happier, but it is well worth the effort.

Blessed Be

Day Twenty-Two

“Peace is the holy communion of Man and Universe.”

I’m pretty sure we’re not talking about global peace here. Inner peace can be such a wonderful thing. It’s not particularly easy to find, but it can be found.

I have problems meditating, so I didn’t really believe it was possible for me to find inner peace. I do remember being at peace several times during my life, however. One time while I was in the Navy, my ship was at sea; it was late, close to midnight, and I went topside for some fresh air. All I could hear were the waves sloshing against the ship; I could feel the gentle breeze through my hair and on my face; there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and I have never seen so many stars in the sky. It was just me at the rail, it was beautiful. The most amazing thing, though, was that I stood on the deck of a warship, feeling more at peace than I ever had before (or since).

I guess peace can sneak up on you when you least expect it. It recently snuck up on me in a very unexpected place – at the gym. I decided to start training for a marathon last week; while I was jogging on the treadmill and listening to my music, I just kinda lost myself in it. And while I was jogging, my mind cleared. All the crap that had been accumulating was pushed aside; all of my worries and my fears and my cares were gone. In their place was a sense of serenity and peace. It was amazing.

When that peace washes over me, I feel like everything will be alright. I feel as if I’m more than a tiny speck in the universe…it makes me feel like I belong here and that I’m part of it all. I hope you can all find something that brings you peace and tranquility.

Blessed Be

Day Twenty One

“Without first taking note from the way how we respond to the world around us through repeated listening, repeated contemplation and repeated meditation, there can be no advancement in our spiritual growth, and without spiritual evolution, there can never be true happiness or peace of mind.”

Sometimes change seems easy and effortless. Other times, it can be the most difficult thing in the world. One of the ways I have changed lately is to really take in what people tell me, to listen more than I talk, and to show more respect to those around me. That was actually one of the easier things I’ve done.

This project is one of the more difficult tasks; things that create real change in your life always will be. I spend a little more time each day in meditation, reflecting not only on the day’s lesson, but also on the events of my life. I’ve learned a lot about myself in that time; such as how many things have gone awry and how often everything seems to just fall apart at the most inconvenient times. However, I don’t regret anything that’s gone wrong in my life. Every step has led me to this moment, and with the changes that are happening, I can’t be upset about any of the bad things that’ve happened.

It’s slow progress, but I can feel the peace settling over me with each passing day. My mind is opening and so is my heart, and with those two things comes a happiness I haven’t known in a very long time.

Blessed Be.

Day Sixteen

“Inner peace does not come about through retreating from the world, but by functioning in the world without being shackled by the confines of self-centered desires.”

If this is true, I’m never finding inner peace. In all fairness, I’m not self-centered all the time, but it does take up a decent portion of my day. I have been a little less lately. Not really saying I’ve become a saint or anything like that, just little things. Like many others, I have a touch of OCD; a side effect of this is that I love numbers. I find math and number puzzles very soothing. So when I am feeling anxious or bored, I find a way to play with numbers. One of my favorite things to do along these lines is “What If” scenarios, in which I look at the lottery jackpot and plan what I would do with the money if I were to win.

Yesterday was one such day. I spent hours working on my spreadsheet. There are many things on the list that are just for me - such as a trip to England – but there are also things for others. I’ve always had listed to pay off my parents’ house and buy my sis one, but now I’m thinking bigger. I have specific dollar amounts listed to donate to local and international charities each month (should I someday win); I want to open a horse-therapy organization in my area (where people can come to learn self-confidence and independence); helping my friends realize their dreams. The list goes on, and (had I actually won last night) I am barely scratching the surface of what I could accomplish.

Yes, I know writing things like this down doesn’t prove I’m less self-centered, but the fact that I’m thinking of more than just myself and my immediate family shows me that I am making progress. It may not seem like much to those reading my blog, but it is a huge step to me.

Still haven’t quite made it to the “inner peace” level yet; I’m still pretty far off that mark. But it is nice to know someone as selfish as me can be changed by a little reflection.

That about wraps it up for tonight. Goodnight, and Blessed Be.

Day Fifteen

“True happiness comes from within and has little bearing on the affectation of indifference to external sources.”

T’was another long, uneventful day. Don’t get me wrong, I was able to get a few things accomplished (like going to the gym and doing some cleaning around the house), but nothing really extraordinary happened today.

Today’s lesson almost sounds like it’s telling us that happiness comes from within and has nothing to do with the world around us. While I wholeheartedly agree with the first part, I cannot agree with the second. All of us are affected daily by the world around us and the actions of those who reside there.

As much as I would love to tell you that the only opinion that really matters to me is my own; that would be a lie. The opinions of others matter a great deal to me, which is why I dress the way I do, listen to the music I listen to, and make many of my daily decisions. What other people say and do affect us all; and one of the ways it can affect us is by altering our happiness. When a person insults me, it has a negative effect on my attitude. I could be on cloud nine, but I hear one bad comment and I’m suddenly so angry I could scream.

While the basis of happiness comes from within, outside influences can (and will) change one’s outlook. Don’t fret, however; we all choose what we do with the energy other people send our way. While I may not handle the negativity well, that doesn’t mean you have to follow suit. The world is what you make of it, and I guess that’s what really matters with today’s lesson.

I would continue my thoughts, but I’m suddenly overcome by a wave of sleepiness.

Goodnight, everyone. Blessed be.

Day Fourteen

“All healthy relationships reflect the true nature of the universe - mutually supportive, yet entirely co-independent of any energy transgression.”

One of these days I’ll actually post this during the daytime. Until then, I will continue to procrastinate with my postings until it’s almost time for bed.

Today’s reflection is one that I prefer to practice. Unfortunately, none of my relationships have been healthy for long. There is a noticeable difference, however. It is such an amazing thing to be in a mutually supportive relationship – to get back what you give out is rare for many of the people I know. The trick is finding someone who is willing to put as much effort and love into the relationship as you do. Doesn’t sound too hard, does it? Should be easy, but it isn’t. Of course, I also believe there is a reason for the unhealthy relationships. Much like days where everything seems to go wrong, bad relationships serve an important purpose in our lives.

If everything in my life was good all the time, I would take the good for granted. I have bad days; days when I feel worthless and pathetic, but those days help me appreciate how wonderful the good days really are. Relationships are the same. If there aren’t bad relationships in my life, how would I really know how good I have it when I am finally in a healthy relationship? When I was younger, I was presented an opportunity to be in a healthy relationship – a wonderful man presented his heart to me on a silver platter. In my stupid vanity, I believed I could do better; my life would be drastically different today if I had not let him pass out of my life.

Enough of regrets. It’s too late to change the past, and I would not be who I am today – I would not have made a difference in so many lives – if I had chosen different. I know now what unhealthy relationships can be like, and I look forward to the day when I am in a healthy relationship for the long haul. Even in a healthy relationship, there are bad days, but the number of wonderful days will be that much more special.

Blessed Be.