Don't Spell Angry

If the name doesn't make sense, it soon will. I'm pretty sure just about everyone loses their temper sometimes. We all get mad, get hurt, and when that happens, some of us just want to get even. The unfortunate side effect of these feelings is that usually someone gets hurt when people seek vengeance, and the vengeful person usually ends up regretting their actions.

For those of us who are part of the magical community, this gets even more dangerous (and it becomes even more important to calm yourself down). Really, what's the worst that could happen? So many things, especially if you think the best course of action is revenge and you are proficient with spells. Take into consideration that, when someone is angry or hurt, they "Harm None" thing tends to fly out the window.

From personal experience, I know that there are two options when a person is extremely angry, hurt, or upset when attempting spell-work. The first option is that you will be unable to focus properly; in this circumstance, the intent of the spell can be skewed. Even if you attempting to heal the emotional pain you are suffering, the energy can go wild, instead harming yourself or someone close to you. The second option is that you will be able to focus intently. So what? So you may believe you are thinking clearly and that you really do want to (insert malevolent action here) to whomever hurt you or belittled you or wronged you, but when you are calm again, you will realize that what you did was wrong. And when you realize that it is better to forgive people who are jerks sometimes, it will be too late, because by then the damage will have been done (and at this point, YOU will be the bigger jerk).

No matter how right it may feel at the time, you should never attempt a ritual or spell while you are mad. Take the time to cool off and calm down. And even when you are calm, make sure that your spell-work is focused on letting go and healing instead of harming those who have harmed you.

Day Thirteen

“In all relationships, avoid the embroilment of power struggle and hidden agenda which involves, either manipulating our partner into submission, or compromising yourself for the sake of sustaining a state of dependency.”

Merry Christmas (for those who celebrate)! For those who don’t, I still hope you had a wonderful day. Today was a long day for me, but not in a bad way.

As with yesterday, I haven’t had a lot of time to contemplate the lesson today. Though, I don’t know that ‘lesson’ is the right word. In a way it is a lesson I have already learned, but one I never really had words for. Today it’s more of a drop of wisdom.

Today’s drop of wisdom describes at least my last five relationships. I’ve been on both sides of the dial on this one, but all of them were the same power struggle. All ended the same way: with hearts (and sometimes spirits) broken. Granted, not every relationship is “meant to be”, but when a power struggle exists between two people, things rarely end well for both parties.

Of course, this is true for all relationships, not just romantic ones. I am usually on the ‘dependency’ side when it comes to friendships. For any relationship to last, both people need to be willing to give sometimes; to make sacrifices; there must be compromise between all involved. If these things do not exist, the relationship is not a healthy one.

When I say ‘healthy’, that doesn’t mean that things are rainbows and butterflies every day – if it is, one (or both) of you is living in a world of pure delusion. Family, friends, and lovers – all argue sometimes. Everyone has disagreements, sometimes you may even go extended periods of time before talking to each other again, but that’s all part of having relationships. We learn and grow through adversity and being pushed to our limits, not by sitting back and letting life pass us by.

I just realized that I don’t write much about my spiritual experiences and practices. With the title of my blog, most people would presume it had something to do with Witchcraft or Paganism. While that is my intention, I do not feel that is possible at the moment. I am not in a great place personally, and I feel the need for some growth and reflection before I am able to move forward spiritually. Please bear with my through this process, you may learn something about yourself as well.

Blessed be.

Day Seven

“One’s compassion for others is feeble until one has mastered compassion through the discipline of harmonizing one’s body, speech and mind.”

It has become apparent to me that my project is having an effect on other people, as well as myself. How do I know? If the events of today had happened two weeks ago, they would have been handled in a very different manner. I had someone from my past contact me today because he wants to talk. Two weeks ago I would have told him to piss off and leave me alone, but as I am trying to be more compassionate when it comes to the suffering of others, I will be contacting him tomorrow.

So, onto today’s lesson; well, I’m working on it. I have had a sharp tongue for well over a decade, and I am a little jaded from several events which have transpired over the course of my adult life. With that in mind, I’m sure my loyal readers can understand that it is difficult to keep the first words out of my mouth from being snarky and sarcastic, but I am working on it.

To answer a concern addressed a couple days ago; I am not trying to make myself perfect. I have no desire to be the type of person who make everyone else look bad by being so absolutely wonderful all the time. What I am trying to do is become the person I have always wanted to be. I want to be someone who takes time out of my day to help others (whether by helping to change a flat tire or buying someone food who doesn’t have any, or helping a friend with a project that can change her life for the better). I want to be that person, and it is going to take a lot of work for me to get there, but I am willing to put in the necessary hours.

I would write more about my journey tonight, but I have a friend who is about to hit a rough patch and I will be sending him all of the loving energy I can spare to help him get through as smoothly as possible. Goodnight, all.

My Own Way

Since I have never been part of a coven, and I've never had a teacher, my only real guide is myself and whatever books I can get my hands on. This has its good and bad points. Since I have no teacher, I can just figure out whatever feels right and works for me, I don't have to follow the rituals and precise ways of someone else. The downside to it is that I have no one to teach me; there is no one to help me through my rituals and spells and no one to correct me if I'm doing something wrong.

This solitary methodology has led me to an interesting world of spiritual exploration. While I am certain there is a God and Goddess that help with whatever I may need, I can also feel different energies around me that are associated with the elements.

With this knowledge in hand, I figured out that most of the spells and energy is working with the elements, so I have adjusted the rituals to accommodate this. At first, I would light a white candle for each direction (North, East, South, West), but now that I know each is associated with a different element, I respect the differences and use a different medium for each direction (North - Earth - soil, East - Air - incense, South - Fire - candle, West - Water - holy water). I call each of the elements in turn (it is different each time, depending on how I am feeling and what I wish to accomplish) and then perform my spell or ritual.

Since making this change, I have noticed an increased success rate; not of my spells working, but working the way I wanted them to work. It is a wonderful feeling when something turns out the way it is intended.

Solo

Would have posted this sooner, but by cold has been kicking my rear end these past few days.

Wednesday evening, I performed my very first solo ritual. One of the ingredients I need for the cleansing I will be doing tomorrow is Holy Water, which is in short supply, since there are no stores in the area. Anyway, I adapted the Holy Water ritual from Silver RavenWolf's book Solitary Witch. Since it was my first solitary ritual, as well as my first ritual in nearly 5 years, I decided to have the instructions written down next to me for each step (so I wouldn't forget anything).

The feeling was absolutely amazing. I could feel the power of the Goddess and God flowing through me as I preformed the blessing. It was enough to make me cry tears of joy, and when I was finished, I was full of a confidence and energy I haven't felt in years. Truly, if you have never performed a ritual, whether alone or with others, I highly recommend it.

Unexpected Delays

I meant to post what I have done to rid myself of my "unwanted visitor," but there have been a few delays in my doing anything at all. First, I have been sick, which absolutely sucks. Second, I have a difficult time doing anything "Witchy" while my family is home, and there's almost always someone home. Third, a close friend of mine has been in crisis and I have been focused on helping him out.

Luckily for me, I have been able to do a few things, so the attacks have been much less severe. My room has two windows and one door (not including the closet). I cleansed five stones/crystals that have natural protective qualities, and I charged them with protective energy. Once that was done, I placed one stone on each end of the two windowsills, and one on centered on top of the door frame.

I've not yet completed a cleansing of the house, but I am expecting the house to myself tonight, and I should have plenty of time. If not, I will have three-ish hours on Sunday while everyone is at church.

Caught Again

It has been quite a while since I composed a blog. For several weeks, I was unsure of how to proceed, or even if I should; but I feel it is necessary to share my experiences (and mistakes) with others. So, here goes.

I have been feeling "off" lately, though I could not explain why. Several times, I would find myself thinking things that would never have come to my mind without being planted there. I took it as the fluctuating hormones of my cycle and pushed it aside. Tonight as I sat at my laptop, contemplating the vastness of existence, I began to feel "off" again. This time, instead of pushing the feeling away, I analyzed it. In doing so, I recognize its source, and I cannot say that I am very happy about it.

For those of you who read my blog Something's Missing, you will know that I have been longing for my past connections with the supernatural. I so desired to reconnect with that part of my life, that I posted it for the world to read - almost as a wish or prayer for the connection to be rekindled.

Ever heard the saying "Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it?" Well, I got it. The "off" that I have been feeling lately is an entity I encountered during my Naval training...and not a particularly friendly one, at that. I am unable to do much tonight, but tomorrow I will be banishing evil from my house and then protecting it.

I have a few spells in mind to use, but they will need to be adapted to suit my needs. Once I have done that, I will post them (just in case someone else has need of something similar). Specifically, I will be making Holy Water for the first time and using it in the protection. I'm still trying to figure out the banishing ritual/spell. It should not be too difficult to find, though.

This is only the start, however, since I do intend to leave my house, and will need to have some sort of protection to keep on my person as well.

I will let you know tomorrow or Saturday how everything goes.

Blessed Be

Book of Shadows

I started working on my Book of Shadows today. Years ago, I remember thinking a Book of Shadows (BOS) had to be a huge, leather-bound book. It had to be filled with parchment paper and I would write in it all of my spells and thoughts on magick, but it would have to be written with an old-fashioned quill pen in perfect, even handwriting. It's entirely possible that I watched too much "Sabrina: The Teenage Witch" and "Charmed" when I was younger. I have since learned that the medium doesn't matter so much as the intent. So, without further ado, here's how I set up my BOS.

Materials:
1 - 2" Black Binder
1 - Silver Sharpie
2 - Packs of Sheet Protectors
1 - Pack of Binder Paper
2 - Packs of Dividers

With the silver Sharpie, I wrote "Book of Shadows" on the front cover. Then I opened the packs of sheet protectors and put them inside the binder. I printed out the Wiccan Rede and slipped it into the first sheet protector. I have also printed out a few spells, meditations, and general guides (meanings of colors, different crystals and stones, and a few other tidbits) that will also go in. The binder paper is all the way at the back, so that if I have notes to write or if I want to write or modify a spell, I can use that and then put it in a sheet protector. For the dividers, I have written on the tabs a few different sections for easy reference (basic rituals, cleansing spells, general information, meditations, tarot readings, tools, runes...).

It really is much easier to put together than I had originally anticipated. And, of course, what I did may not work for everyone, just do what is comfortable for you and within budget. There really is no need to break the bank buying a special journal to use if you don't have the money for one. Especially at back-to-school time, when many stores are having sales on everything I used for my own BOS. What's really important in all of this is that, no matter how you do it, your BOS works for YOU.

Blessed Be,
NightDancer

Something's Missing

I recently joined a great community for Pagans called WitchForum.net. There are a lot of really great people there and those great people are full of great information (which they are willing to share). Everyone has been very nice and helpful. I find myself drawn to their supernatural and paranormal encounters section and tonight, as I was reading some of the various topics other users have posted, I realized that there is something missing from my life. Story time!

I grew up in the same house my mom grew up in. It was a neighborhood I always felt safe in. Our neighbors were the same couple that had lived there since my mom was a child, so we were all very close. As I got older, I became aware of strange things happening in the house and around the neighborhood. I could go on forever with the stories, but I will just say that many of the strange things were supernatural in nature, and I was not the only one who saw them (or heard them; or felt them).

During my Naval training, I was stationed at a base that had been an airfield (I have mentioned in previous posts) and I had some pretty terrifying encounters with the supernatural while I was there. I went to the Mediterranean on my first ship. Though the ship was relatively safe (it had been commissioned the same year I joined), the same cannot be said about the all of the ports we visited. I saw several shadow people in Venice, as well as having a creature I could feel but not see physically attack me at one of our stops in Spain (I had three claw-marks across my back to prove it).

I bought a house in Virginia while I was stationed there. My ex talked me into it; I wanted the cute ranch-style house, but he insisted on a too-big, two-story duplex. I could not look at or go near the detached garage without feeling like it was watching me (with sinister intent). Early mornings, when I would wait for my friend to pick me up from work, I would sit on the front porch steps and watch cat-sized shadows dash back and forth across the street.

My second ship, significantly older than the first, was haunted by multiple spirits. The most notable being that of a young girl with curly hair. During a Tiger Cruise, she was playing in one of the ladder wells near the armory. She lost her grip and fell. I never did see her, but I knew several who did; she liked to play hide and seek or step out and scare people who went further down than the armory.

Finally, when I was discharged from the Navy, I returned home. The house I am currently living in is only about 20 years old, as is the rest of the neighborhood. It is a beautiful house and I love it, but there is something missing. All my life, I have been surrounded by the supernatural and it just does not exist in this house. I find myself missing the sinister feeling I would get when my "stalkers" were near; I would always cast a spell of protection or warding or banishing to get rid of them for a while, but they always came back. I miss watching the shadow-creatures playing in the moonlight. And I miss feeling anything supernatural happening.

Perhaps when I move I will find a house with a bit of history to it so I can grasp that supernatural presence again.

Energy Works

Not everyone believes that they have the power to influence others. I know I didn't used to. When I was 18, I thought it was completely ridiculous to think that my moods or thoughts had any effect on those around me. I have since learned better. I was 19 the first time I realized that I could manipulate energy. As with many other life lessons, I had no idea the possibilities that were about to be presented.

It was an innocent mistake. My friends and I were standing around, joking as usual and playing with our lighters. We'd flip open our Zippos, watch the flame for a few second, then flip them closed and enjoy their warmth. I had started a game of sorts, to challenge my friends to which of us could tolerate the most heat, leaving the lighter burn a little longer each time. Unfortunately, a still-opened lighter slipped from one friend's grasp and fell on another's hand, burning him pretty bad. I, being curious and always ready to help, took his hand gently...at least, I tried to. As soon as my fingers touched him, he pulled his hand back as if I'd shocked him. After a mini-interrogation, in which I revealed that I was feeling concern and a desire to help my friend heal as I reached out to take his hand, I was told that he could feel a jolt of energy from me that had instantly cooled his burned hand.

Several days passed and, as expected, the wound began to heal, but at a greatly accelerated rate. By the time one week had passed, it was completely healed, leaving only a scar in the waffle-pattern of the flame guard of a Zippo lighter.


After that, I had several lessons on the responsible use of energy and have since experimented a few times, just to make sure I can still do it. In the 12 years since that first incident, I have lessened pain from injuries and helped people heal, as well as changing the mood of a room from negative to positive, making small changed in the weather, on one occasion making a very significant change in the weather, and many other things.

I learned that it is possible to make changes to those around me if I can focus on doing so. But there is also a cautionary tale to go along with this little anecdote: as with everything else in magick, the intent plays a part on the outcome of what you do. In my example above, I only wanted to help my friend, and it had miraculous results. However, I have done things in the past with purely selfish intent, not caring who was hurt in the process. And let me tell you something, Karma will come back to bite you in the butt when people get hurt because of a spell you cast. It's not pleasant.

Learn from my mistakes, be careful what you do when it comes to energy manipulation. It is more rewarding by far to use your skills to help others than to do harm on those who have hurt you. Just a little something to think about.

Blessed Be

Fueling the Fires of Ignorance

This story is part of the reason that I've been in the broom closet so long. Ignorance about witchcraft and the close-mindedness of reporters and so-called "religious experts" fuels the fear of any religion that is not main stream and it needs to stop.

If you're not interested in reading the article, I'll give you a basic rundown. Wednesday (7/6/11), a box with several decapitated animals was left outside a Tampa, FL jail. Investigators are rather convinced it was ritualistic and someone trying to send a message. The reporters also interviewed a religious expert who connected the incident with witchcraft.

I have read many more articles of a similar nature and I found an interesting pattern. Almost any time a region becomes accepting of the Pagan community, some story is spread around (whether true or not) about bad things happening that are somehow connected to witchcraft (in some form or other). It is disgusting that, in this day and age, there is so much fear and hatred towards the Pagan community. I'm wondering if there will ever truly be a time when "witch" is no longer considered a derogatory term. Only time will tell.