Day Nine

“Without the true interaction of sincerity and loving kindness, no relationship can be deemed authentic.”

I’m not feeling myself tonight, so I’m going to make this one short. This is not exclusive to romantic relationships.  Sincerity and kindness are essential to any relationship, but they are not the only essentials. Truth is another big one. I would rather have someone be truthful and it hurt my feelings a bit than lie to me and spare me the pain. Why? Because the truth will eventually come out, and the pain will be at least two-fold (the pain of truth, and the pain of someone who was trusted lying to me).

This is beginning to feel like more of a rant than a spiritual journey (which is what I had intended it to be).  As will all true progress, this is going at a snail’s pace. I can feel a slight difference now from when I began, but I can’t feel the difference day-to-day. Every day I feel myself caring more and helping more. There are times (already) when I just want to trash to project and keep going the way I have been for years, but I know that there is a purpose for the project. And I get this feeling – a slight twitching in my intuition – something I’ve been looking forward to for years (something I’ve REALLY wanted) will happen if I finish. It may sound selfish, but I am doing this for me and not for everyone else. While it’s true that others will benefit from my being a better person, I am doing this for my, first and foremost.

Enough for tonight, I need to get to bed before I fall asleep on my laptop. Goodnight, all. Have a lovely day.

Intuition

Ever have a "gut feeling," a "hunch," or know something because of "instinct?" All of this leads to the same thing: intuition. Many of the people I know have not learned to trust their intuition; most probably don't even know what it really is when it interrupts their day.

I was once like that; I used to get a "feeling" about people or places. There are a few note-worthy occasions. When I was 19, I was in training on a military base built on an old airfield. "Wrong" is the only word I can think of to describe how I felt around one of the air strips. I hated going there alone and would only do so when I had no other choice. After my transfer and the increased popularity of the internet, I found out there had been a fire that killed a flight crew on that strip.

I've had similar experiences with locations around the world, but it is not limited to places. There have been more times than I can count that I get the same feeling about a person - that feeling of something being wrong. No matter how many times I have tried to ignore it or prove it wrong, if I go against my intuition when it comes to people, it always comes back to bite me on the butt. More than once, I have found myself in a dangerous situation because I trusted someone even though my intuition was telling me not to.

Now that I am older and wiser, I know to trust my feelings, but I cannot regret the mistakes I made in the past. Why do I not regret? Several reasons, the first of which is that, those who do not make mistakes cannot learn from them. Second, I would not be as strong a person as I am today. Finally, through one of my mistakes, I was given a beautiful gift that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

How do I know if my intuition is warning me about something or someone? In the simplest terms, I get a feeling. For example, I will shake someone's hand when introduced and my stomach will suddenly be in knots and I feel sick. Several times, I just thought it was something that I had eaten earlier not agreeing with me; instead, it is my intuition warning me that this person is dangerous or not what he or she seems to be. I have since learned to trust these feelings, now that I know what they are.

I am reading a book right now that is helping me to further develop my intuition. While not necessarily related to Paganism and spirituality, I feel that developing your intuition and learning to trust it are important. I chose Paganism because it helps me to feel at peace; both with myself, and with the world around me. As far as I'm concerned, until you can recognize what your intuition is trying to tell you and to trust it, you cannot find peace and balance within yourself.

Of course, that's just me.

Blessed Be