Day Eleven

“It is not because relationships are trying that we do not dare to love; it is because we do not dare to love with an open heart and pure intent that relationships are trying.”

There is a very unfair catch to this particular lesson. If I love with an open heart and have pure intent, the relationship may still be trying. Do you know why? Because the person I’m in love with isn’t necessarily doing the same. If one person is giving all they have to a relationship and they are being open and honest, but the other person isn’t; the relationship will likely fail.

I was speaking to my sister today about this. She had this to say, “Unconditional love is something I give to my family and friends. And pets. My love is not freely given.”

At first, this seemed harsh, but then I realized that there are reasons for that. The first of which is that she’s never been in love. The second is that she has watched me through the years; she has seen me love unconditionally many times and each time she has seen me hurt by the one who claimed to love me in return.

I, on the other hand, believe unconditional love is possible. But no one is perfect. We all screw up sometimes, so we must be able to forgive those we love for doing stupid things that hurt us, and they must be able to forgive us as well. Relationships (of all kinds) take work. Romantic relationships, families, friendships, and even our personal relationship with our deities; they all take work, and they can all be trying.

Our lives are like a garden; we must protect the plants (relationships) when they are new, nurture them as they grow; we must be able to see which plants are not going to make it, and which ones should not have been allowed in the garden in the first place. The weeds must be removed to allow the rest of the garden a chance to thrive. But there is more to it than that. There are some plants that mean the world to us, but that will not last long, such as seasonal flowers. These plants cannot remain in our garden forever (no matter how much we wish they could), and they will eventually die and need to be removed. If you do not remove these dead plants (relationships) to make room your garden will not flourish; you will miss the one plant so much that you neglect the others, and soon they will all die.

Cheers to those of you who tend your gardens well. I have neglected mine for too many years, but I am working on making it beautiful again.