Day Eight

“We could not begin to love another person unless we are capable of loving ourselves.”

I know today’s lesson all too well. Not only have I been in relationships where the other person does not love himself (and, therefore, cannot truly love me), I have also been in relationships in which I was the one who did not love myself.

A lot of people get this one wrong. With all of the ads today showing off how beautiful everyone should be; it is no wonder that loving myself is such a problem. Do I love myself? Sometimes I think I do, other times, not so much. Books, television, movies, magazines; there are countless things in the world telling me to look younger, or be thinner, or to have bigger boobs. But you know what? I don’t want to look younger; there is nothing wrong with the age I’m at now. I don’t want to look like a super model; they all look like they could use some real food in their diets. I’m happy with my figure, and I know that I am beautiful – not only on the outside, but on the inside as well. And on the inside is where the beautiful truly matters.

It took me a long time to get to this point. I realized as I was writing this that I do love myself. That doesn’t mean I think I am perfect, I know there is room for improvement, but I also know that I am fine just the way I am at this very moment.

When I was younger, I didn’t really love myself. I was vain and shallow and selfish. I suppose I still am all of those things, just in smaller quantities. Many experiences in the past 13 years have taught me that there is more to life than looks and money. It is greater to love than anything else. With this thought in mind, I would like to point out a flip side to today’s lesson: No one can truly love you who does not love himself.

That’s right; if you’re in a relationship with someone who does not love him (or her) self, that person cannot truly love you. And I do not mean someone who is so taken by his reflection that all he cares about is looks (and that’s all he will care about in the end), I’m talking about someone who has a good heart and can accept his personal flaws; that person will not see you for your looks. That person will see all there is to see about you – both the good and the bad – and love you for all of it. Someone who does not love himself will see his flaws in you and secretly (or openly) resent you for them.

Got off on a bit of a rant there, but at least I know I have thoroughly soaked in today’s lesson. I am able to truly love others because I can truly love myself. Anyone who says they can love, but whom does not love himself, is not really capable of that love you so desire.