“Innocence is a state of holiness which comes with the
clarity of inner peace. Without the presence of inner peace, there can be no
reality. Thus love without innocence is not real. It is just another hybrid
fear imbued with the emotional colouring of fantasy.”
This explains why none of my relationships have worked out. I
haven’t really felt the sense of inner peace while in a relationship since I
was a teenager. There was a time I saw love with the purity and innocence of
youth. After several failed attempts at relationships, the inner peace and
innocence abandoned me…or perhaps I abandoned them.
Either way, it’s been a while. I’m not sure if innocence and
inner peace determine whether or not love is real. Perhaps the word ‘innocence’
here does not necessarily mean the innocence of childhood; it could mean a
spiritual innocence. What do I mean by ‘spiritual innocence’? Think of it as a
purification of the soul. Again, this is not as sudden as a light coming on
when you flip a switch; spiritual innocence is like spring cleaning (it takes a
while, but when you finish there is a sense of accomplishment, healthier
living, and a feeling of freshness).
I am in the middle of such a cleansing. This cleansing will
take months (if not years), and I am looking forward to the final purification.
I know that it will take longer than this project, and I can also feel that
something wonderful will happen when I’m done. Of course, it is more than just
this self-improvement project, and it is more than the purification. This is
something that I will continue until the day I die – like anything else in life
that’s worth having, it will take a lot of work and be well worth the effort.
Blessed Be
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